My husband and I spent most of this past weekend cleaning, kind of like pre-Spring cleaning. If you know me well, you probably know how much that I HATE cleaning. If you are getting to know me through my blog, you will soon learn how much I dislike doing chores. It is just absolutely boring to me. Now I know, I know, cleaning is part of my job being an 80% of the time stay-at-home mom. I would rather be outside with the children, painting, trying out a new craft, spending time with my husband, or talking on the phone with my parents.
In a world of do-it-yourself projects and Pinterest, house keeping has gotten even harder. There is an immense amount of pressure from social media to be able to keep a perfectly clean house, be able to bake an apple pie from scratch, create fun and educational moments for your children, all while maintaining the perfect marriage, social calendar, and body. In effort to break the stereotypes and have a little laugh, I give you my top ten confessions to being a not so good housewife:
- I don’t wash clothes so that I can stay in my yoga pants longer. Between my yoga pants and workout pants, I never want to go back to jeans!
- If company called and said that they were coming over, I could have the house clean within a few hours. Otherwise, it may take me two weeks to fold that one pile of laundry sitting in the middle of the living room. I mean really, it is like a small department store in our house. Where do the clothes keep coming from?!?
- Our garage is a mess because I do not want to bring anymore mess into the house. We have moved twice over the last couple of years, so I am over boxes and junk.
- My husband talks about trash-jenga as though it is a thing of the past. It is not. This is my reality. We will fill the trash can until it can hold no more. Then we find the closest Wal-Mart bag and start filling it up. Eventually, I will win, and the trash will begrudgingly be taken to the dumpster.
- My son asked me the other day if I knew how to cook. I told him “yes,” but that I “let” his father do it because he enjoys cooking more than I do. ( I am the baker)
- It is while in the middle of deep cleaning that I think is the best time for me to finish (or maybe start) that Pinterest craft that I began a year ago. There are so many fun projects to try. I love crafting, when I actually have time or the supplies!
- My husband and I will trade favors for getting things done around the house. For those who had their minds in the gutters, I mean things like coffee. My husband knows that if he goes to McDonald’s for iced coffee, I am more likely to get started sooner with the cleaning with the help of that go-go juice. I also know how to get him to help with the laundry…by refusing to wash his underwear. Again, minds out of the gutters!! 😉
- I still gag sometimes when I have to clean the toilet, broom, or anything that has hair involved. I keep hoping that when I grow up, this will no longer be an issue.
- I secretly want a clean house, but I refuse to admit that to my husband. This will only give him ammo for his already legal-like arguments for why there are dirty dishes in the sink or when he asks what I have been doing all day.
- My self-proclaimed strikes will only end inevitably with me still doing the majority of the house work. Housekeeping is not my most favorite thing to do, but I love taking care of my family. I enjoy the role of wife, mother, and yes, even housekeeper. Our home is not Pinterestperfect, Martha Stewart perfect, or even a contender to be on the cover of Good Housekeeping, but it is our home. It is our little nest that we have created for our family, and I love it…fingerprints on the mirrors, piles of clothes, and all!
Here is a bonus confession! I do not mind sweeping the floors. In fact, it seems like very little work or effort. However, to get the dust pan out and actually put those piles in the trash is A LOT of work. So if you come to my house, watch where you step. There just my be little piles of dust all around! 😉
*This is a satirical piece with some truths, and a whole lot of exaggeration.